To The Mom Who Worries Shes Not Doing Enough At Her Childs School

To The Mom Who Worries Shes Not Doing Enough At zu sich Childs School We can learn a lot from the moms around us.Last week, I learned a lot from a fellow mother during back-to-school night at my sons school. All the parents (95 percent of whom were moms) poured their adult-size bodies into second-grade-size chairs and pretended like we were comfortable doing so. The main task of the evening welches to fill up the calendar ofparental involvement for the entire school year. Things like building sets for musicals, driving kids to the pumpkin patch or taking pictures during the Easter party.You know, the stuff you hate committing to, but end up loving when you show up and deliver.In this case, the room mothers sat in the front of the classroom and called out one activity at a time and signed up people according to the show of handspaper products for the Valentines Day party, whos in? Rounding up the yearbook photos, whos got their hand up? Coordinating the coolest field day around, whos coming with me? It was my first time at this rodeo, and Im notlage going to lie I was scared.My inner dialogue had its own field day as I watched the hands shoot up left, right and center.Should I volunteer for more? I should, right? Because thats what good mothers dowe show up for our kids. But I was torn. Between writing a book and being the CEO of my company, signing up for anything other than bringing napkins wouldverylikely result in a total and utter disaster.And thats when my new hero entered the room.A mother to one of the boys in the class, she did not opt to sit in her sons pint-size desk, but instead elected to stand in the doorway and magically disappear and reappear in regular intervals. Armed with a digital copy of the school calendar on her iPad, no matter where we were on assignments, she immediately caught up.This woman was not afraid.At one point, when she reappeared, we were at a stalemate for who would bring baked goods for some event I cant even remember. One of the mothers immediately said to hero mom, Hey, do you want to bake something for this event? We need one more volunteer. And without the slightest pause, she replied, Nope. Not my game. I know my strengths. Im good at taking pictures and supplying paper products. Ill sign up to be the photographer for dozens of different events, and Ill even get the school logo printed on the napkins I bring. But I dont do baking.I could have kissed her.Show of hands how many of you would have said yes under peer pressure in that moment? Thinking that somehow, youre a better mom if you make chocolate ic double-dip brownies so the school can sell them for $1.50 each?As soon as she spoke her truth, this mother who was new to me freed me from all my worry. She was courageous enough to know her strengths, embrace her weaknesses, and say all of it out loud. She didnt shift around nervously in her seat (she never actually sat down), stewing on whether she was volunteering for too much, not enough or exac tly enough.Im sure you know how this story ended. Yep, with the two of us sitting at a bar, breaking down this thing called Life. We shared wine, laughter and our perspectives. Along the way, I learned that the reasonshe kept bouncing in and out of the calendar meeting was because shes the mother of twin boysone in each of the two second-grade classes. So she was volunteering for two classes at once (wow). I also learned that she served ourcountry as a pilot in the Navy (double-wow), and that shes married to the love of her life and lebensgefhrte for 20 years.And suddenly the world made sense to me.This mother had seenmore than the average mama bear. For example, the world blurred beneath her as she flewcovert missions for our nationTop Gun-stylereceiving enough judgment to last a lifetime when she expressed the truth about her sexuality, and the thrill of becoming the first same-sex couple in her state to havebothparents listed on their childs birth certificate.In comparison, telli ng a bunch of second-grade moms thatshedoesnt bake browniesisa walk in the park.I found her perspective and willingnessto share breathtakingly liberating. She told me, I guess I just finally recognized what is fruchtwein important in life. I learned a long time ago that you cant be everything to everyone, but most women still try.Yes, we do.But maybe its time to stop.When she said her piece out loud, nobody thought less of her. I didnt think she was a loser I thought she was ahero. She showed me the power of respecting my time and talents (and lack thereof). And thats exactly what I did. For the first time, I didnt over-extend myself. I stayed true to what I can actually deliver at this point in my life without being a yes-man to anything more.We often fear the judgment of other mothers, but what I learned from back-to-school night this yearis thatsetting boundariesand saying no doesnt irritate other mothers as much as you assume it willsometimes it inspires them.So go ahead, draw t he line. What are you waiting for?--This article originally appeared on WorkingMother.com.